The cold weather is upon us and we as carnal beings are searching for the next warm body to snuggle up with if we don't already have one. We weigh the pros and cons of romantic prospects and decide upon what feels like the best fit for the moment. However, we all know how hasty decisions or simply decisions nonetheless come with a set of consequences. We get with someone and it's all blissful in the beginning, but after a while reality tends to set in, the hair comes down, and it all falls apart. Most people don't care to admit that they play any part in the deterioration of romance, so they expose the faults of others and settle for feeling like everyone else out here is on something else, never stopping to glance in the mirror. Which leads me to our newest discussion...the stereotypes typical behaviors assigned to the sexes when it come to amorous relations.
I, Ms. Shu-Shu, recently answered some questions posted by a male friend of mine interested in picking the brains of [single] women. His questions were honest, but the type that were most likely not gonna receive honest answers from women, if they chose to comment at all. A few of us did, and as we speak, it's turning into an interesting conversation. (I'm sure you already know who had the nerve to stir the pot ;) Meanwhile, I discussed the note with Ms, Chi Chi and she lead me to a similar blog that canvassed the matter of white women versus black women in how they play the feminine role in a chivalrous affair. The man in question made the choice to seek out a white woman as a potential mate for her seemingly submissive attributes. Intrigued, Chi-Chi counters...
Oh me oh my...where do I begin?!? Let me start off by saying this is being turned into a race issue when really that's not the matter at hand. It is a matter of proper breeding and self respect on both the male and female in the relationship. To address the statement that 99% of black women can't play the background of a relationship...there may be some truth to that statement but let's examine why. So many women are forced into roles that cause them to wear the pants AND the dress so to speak. Whether it be the lack of a Male's presence or the fact that there are so many "boys" that don't know how to be MEN! Unfortunately this is directed toward but is not limited to black males.
So many of our men are neglecting to step up and take their place in society that it is throwing the entire socioeconomic dynamic out of wack. He can say that he wants a "white girl" but really is that what he wants?!? Or is it that he would prefer to have someone that is submissive and hangs on his every word? Don't get me wrong, I feel that a woman should be submissive to a man (in the biblical sense of course and we won't even get started on what that means, but it's hardly do what I say do!), but that man needs to be a man that she can submit to. Men and women of all races, but especially blacks, have lost their way. We have little to no self respect anymore.
Women have every right to raise the bar and have high standards for their men, but men can do the same of women. You won't respect a woman if she's out in the streets acting like a little gutter rat. Just the same as we won't respect a man that has no determination, no ambition, and is always just waiting around for something to happen but in the meantime trying to live off his woman, yet he wants to wear the pants. What type of sense does that really make? There is nothing wrong with learning and growing together and leaning on one another...that is what a relationship is about. However, if you and the mate that you choose aren't on the same page it will never work.
The way that we are being brought up is affecting our male/female relations as well. Males are no longer in the home and mothers are getting younger and younger. Babies are having babies who have no home training themselves, so how in the hell can they teach the next generation?!? Some people had the nerve to get mad when the President told these men to pull their pants up and be a father to their children. If things were going according to plan, these statements and conversations wouldn't be necessary. It all boils down to knowing your role and playing it. So to sum it up...you don't need a "suburban" chick, you just need a woman that has class and self respect, that can hold her own, understand her role and play it well.
But before we get into what the other individual needs to do, we must examine our behavior and the vibes we emit into the atmosphere, cause believe it or not, like begets like. If a man wants a real woman minus the hassle, then he has to be a real man minus the bullshit and vice versa. How can we seek characteristics in another that we do not possess ourselves? Just a lil' something to think about...
As Ever,
The Sisters Larrieux
