Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Expectations...a dangerous game...


Well Loves,






Leave it up to me to pour a lil adulteration in the pot of conventionality. I've come to believe that this may actually be my life's mission; to challenge everything we know to be "right & true". Therefore, I must address this whole ideal of expectations concerning the relationships we dedicate our time to. The dictionary defines the word expectation as "the act or state of looking forward or anticipating". Now, from the sound of things this does not seem like a really dangerous feat, but when emotions are attached, the magnitude of the meaning transforms.






We all know how tricky most romantic relationships are and can be. If a person, like myself for instance, thinks that it could actually be simple, I'm regarded as whimsical, residing in my own fantasy world. This is because there is a widely renowned belief that life in general is difficult. We do not understand that only our thinking it makes it so, and the major reason why we have these thoughts is based on our expectations of others regarding our own livelihoods.






Life is full of simple truths. Most of these truths we occlude ourselves from because they do not fit into our ideals of the way the world is designed to work. I find it convivial how the majority of our principles are in direct opposition to one another and we choose not to give it a second thought. We can tell some one a "little white lie" but no one can lie to us or its an act of treason punishable by death. What a mess.




We also have the nerve to be demanding of others, angry and disappointed when they do not rise to the occasion and hold grudges for insane lengths of time while searching for ways to justify this behavior. There is no justification. Don't get me wrong, I do wish that all of us would be men and women of our word, but the truth is, not everyone cares enough to do so. I've spent so much time feeling irascible, disserviced, and just plain irritated by what I perceived as other peoples lack of consideration for me, that something had to give. I was existing in a state of misery. I remember complaining to my BFF of how upset I was at another one of my friends who was not being the type of friend I expected her to be. My girl imparted a bit of wisdom upon me, which changed my perspective from that day forward. She simply said "Toccara, you can not expect ______ to be the kind of friend to you, that you are to her. People are who they are, and friendship means different things to different people. "


Relationships in general mean different things to different people. In most cases people spend so much time apologizing for the decisions they make, cause another individual feels they have been wronged by said decision in some way. I'm gonna be real with ya'll. People who are offended by the deeds of others are looking to be offended. Alot of the time the person who has committed an offense did so unintentionally. We need to be realistic and stop assuming and expecting other people to know and understand our every desire and thus act accordingly. We are here to compliment one another, not complete each other. The moment we stop searching to find in others, the things we already possess, the expectations will disappear. We will recognize and accept the fact that we are all works in progress living only as we know how.


In every encounter there is a lesson to be remembered. I say remember, cause we already know everything there is to know, as we are individuations of the divine, we just choose to forget. This is apparent in the way we make excuses for our behavior, we always know better, and that's the bottom line. It's time for us to get over ourselves, out of our feelings and let all of the preconceived notions of foolishness go. Don't get mad at your man cause he didn't get your subliminal message regarding your need for him to act like he's enthusiastic about your ideas even if he isn't. Stop expecting your woman to look and behave like the next female cause your dude is bragging about how cut she is. This type of maniacal behavior is damaging to the collective consciousness and stunting our individual growth. Let's start accepting one another as we are, and truly loving in the only way true love is expressed...unconditionally.


"Love is never having to say 'I'm sorry'..."


As Always,


Ms. Shu Shu

1 comment:

Vegas International said...

When it comes to relationships these are workds i live by ..

"Expect The Worst -- Hope for The Best"

"Dont Expect people to be anything they are not - Trust them to be who they are"